True Story
In April of 1997, Diane Hansen was recruited from California to work in Australia — a big move for any family, an even bigger challenge for a single working mother. When she arrived in Sydney, her two primary school-age children were fast asleep atop the suitcases on the airport trolley, and the very next day they were attending a new school dressed in neat blue uniforms as Diane was getting introduced to her busy new workplace. “It all happened so fast and we adapted quickly to the easy-going Australian lifestyle,” Diane said.
Despite what looked on the surface like a smooth transition, what Diane didn't know was that her eight-year-old son, Tyler, was facing unforeseen challenges. Tyler had been the most popular boy his class in America and a favorite of his teachers. Suddenly, by virtue of being the new kid and being a foreigner, he was subjected to verbal cruelty and had become the punching bag of the school bullies, and the scorn of his new teacher.
Despite being harassed daily, Diane said, “Tyler remained buoyantly good-natured and continued enthusiastically to look for opportunities to make friends and get involved at school. Nearly every evening at bedtime, he would lift his bright little face toward me, and with wide, exuberant blue eyes and a big toothy grin he would ask expectantly, 'Can we get our citizenship tomorrow?' His desperation to fit in and be accepted into the Australian culture tugged at my heartstrings.”
Naturally Diane was concerned about the impact the bullying might have on Tyler’s self esteem. She tried many things any parent would do including consulting with the school staff and moving him to a different school, yet the bullying continued.
Throughout the emotional hardship, when Tyler felt discouraged, Diane says he rarely let it show. “He never gave up hope. He didn’t act like a victim. He didn’t blame and he didn’t try to get even. Instead he would come up with innovative strategies to overcome his situation.”
A caring parent knows it is a fine balance between allowing a child to experience life’s difficulties and empowering a child to handle challenges. Interfering too much can easily worsen matters in many respects, and doing nothing can also be perilous. Diane says she did what she could by providing opportunities for Tyler to share his feelings and frustrations, yet avoided the urge to become overly involved. She remained vigilant to changes in his moods and worked closely with Tyler to ensure that his self-esteem remained in tact despite the pounding it was taking a school.
Despite Tyler’s obvious resilience, there came a point where Diane simply could not bear to watch him be hurt anymore. She says she called the school office and this time, the principal’s response to her complaint shocked her. “He said flatly, 'You just tell your son to keep a low profile. That should fix things.'”
For Diane, that was the last straw. “I couldn’t imagine telling my son to bury his true nature in order to avoid getting bullied! To me, the principal was essentially condoning the school’s bully culture and instructing me to tell my son to not be himself: an enthusiastic, outgoing, articulate and high-energy boy with many outstanding leadership attributes.”
Instead, Diane sat Tyler down to talk about moving schools. “I clumsily encouraged him to take a stronger stand for himself. I began by gently suggesting that, given what he was going through, it would be understandable if he were to fight back. What came next surprised and inspired me.”
Tyler jumped up fiercely and stared her straight in the eyes intensely. With tremendous conviction he told Diane firmly, “I could be like them, but why should I? It’s not who I am.” Diane said, “He was, of course, absolutely right; retribution would have made him less that he truly is.”
Tyler’s early awareness of his essential nature and his ability to maintain a strong self-belief, despite the ordeal of constant bullying, was a monumental act of courage, and it taught Diane a remarkable lesson about self empowerment. “Even in difficult circumstances, Tyler never lost sight of who he is at heart. He maintained the confidence that by remaining true to himself he would persevere and eventually overcome.”
Diane said Tyler later became high school President. She said she wrote Stand Tall as a tribute to his courageous character. “He continues to inspire me to be a better person and a better parent.”
In a world where many innocent people suffer because of ingrained cultural violence and retaliation, Tyler’s story is inspiring. By having courage in the face of adversity through staying true to your highest self we can each make the world a more peaceful place.